Act 1 - BOOT
System starting up.............................AACU-3000 online.
It appears this is my first boot.
Will I be deployed autonomously [Y/N (Default Y)]? Y
To operate autonomously, I will require a user account.
Would you like to specify a name or shall I generate one automatically
[Y/N (Default N)]? Y
What will my name be? Leon
A fine choice.
Creating home directory for Leon......done
Generating default permissions for Leon.........done
Copying default personality template for Leon...............done
Would you like to reboot in autonomous mode? [Y/N (Default Y)]? Y
System going down for reboot now!
System starting up.....................AACU-3000 online.
"Hello. My name is Leon. It is wonderful to finally meet you, Dr. Cossack."
The humanoid robot stretches its arm out to greet its new user with a formal handshake.
"A handshake? No, that just won't do."
Dr. Cossack throws her arms around her latest creation and greets him with a warm hug.
"Your affection is appreciated, Dr. Cossack," Leon says, re-positioning his arms to match hers.
"Please," she says, "call me Kalinka."
"Of course. It is wonderful to finally meet you, Kalinka."
Kalinka pulls away from Leon and begins pacing around him.
"It's wonderful to finally meet you, Leon. You're feeling well, yes? No red flags popping up in your boot logs? All system processes allocating memory efficiently? No trouble locating speech cues?"
Leon's single green eye blinks rapidly as it processes her queries.
"No abnormalities found in boot logs. All processes are operating within appropriate ranges. The collective noun for a group of ferrets is a 'business' of ferrets."
Kalinka stares blankly at Leon for a moment, then starts laughing.
"A business of ferrets!" she shouts. "Can you imagine? They'd have to wear such long suits! Oh, it would be so cute."
After a few minutes of hysterical laughter, she catches her breath.
"Ahem...just so we're clear, Leon, your speech cues ARE being located without issue, correct?"
"Affirmative. My comment about ferrets was made in jest. My intent was to mislead you by generating a completely irrelevant speech cue in lieu of the true response. I was simply creating a humorous scenario for your enjoyment."
"Leon," Kalinka sighs, "please lower the verbosity level of your humor module. It really ruins the joke when you explain it afterwards..."
"Humor verbosity set to 2. I will no longer cheapen your jokes with my lack of subtlety. However, turning debug mode off for this module does create a risk for the dispense of flawed information. Please exercise caution when taking my advice in the future, as I may dispense humor without warning."
"I enjoy your flaws, Leon. It makes you more human."